Day two the depression fog rolls in, metaphorically and physically. It’s foggy, wet, dreary and dark this morning. I don’t feel like writing, maybe because I wrote a long time yesterday. Browsing past New Year’s journal entries as far back as I have digital files, that was enough digging to notice I don’t want to do that Echo Chamber Blog idea. I can’t believe what I was thinking just two years ago.
Going back through the years, it’s like rising above myself as the observer and seeing it as the big picture. My moodiness is not just from day to day; there is an overall pattern of mood swings to my life, choices and emotions. When did that start? How did it happen? I’ll probably never know. Maybe I just need to allow and accept it. That’s the way I am; deal with it. I’m tired of putting on the mask, act as if, focus on the positive, release the negative, take control, etc.
Even talking with a friend who is a therapist, that is the basic practice with clients. Notice your thoughts, change them, and take control of thoughts and emotions. It’s a good approach, but we all have problems, and why not just accept and admit that sometimes we get depressed and that it is okay. Stop the judgment of depression. Let it be, wait and see, maybe it will pass on its own.
Of course I know that to be true because even when I’m depressed, I still take care of myself and my basic needs. But many people don’t. They just wallow in it. I still usually eat fairly well, I still get out and walk, I still visit with others I meet on my walks. I know I can change my focus, stop thinking about things that upset me, think of other happy things. Call a friend.
There is a difference between allowing and wallowing; one letter difference in the word but a huge difference in the practice.
— © Copyright B. Grace Jones 2017 All Rights Reserved.