One reason we are so good at focusing on and practicing the negative is that our educational system has conditioned us to solve problems. Our minds do it automatically so if there is not a problem to solve it looks for one. Whatever it looks for it will find or produce. I notice resistance to reject that system since I come from a family of educators. We need to retrain our minds to look for happiness to enjoy while creating fun positive states.
Pam watched all Dr. Eric Robin’s recent video posts and used his approach on me in my session. I knew it wasn’t a FasterEFT session but I went with it. I had seen two of Eric’s videos and had a grasp of the concepts. I see the value of a new approach with some clients since it’s not a cookie-cutter system. Any practitioner must step into the client’s world and do what’s best for them. Pam has worked with me long enough to know my patterns and beliefs. Even though I had resistance I followed my practitioner’s guidance.
The most important question she asked is the one I couldn’t answer. How much time is there between triggers? She’s observed I have a pattern of being triggered regularly. I didn’t know if she meant from the beginning of tapping or just recently. In the past year I have been triggered A LOT.
In 2011 I had no muscle pain, no jaw, neck or TMJ problems. I was shocked when one day I woke up with TMJ symptoms for the first time in three years. I thought it was gone forever. What made it come back? I tapped it away, but didn’t know what triggered it. Maybe it began soon after I stopped my disability benefits. Is it the pressure of working full time and supporting myself? I have healed from what disabled me, but have I learned how to manage the every-day stress response?
My intention for the session was from the belief that we have to go to each memory and flip it before I will be free. I have tapped on the recent issues with my siblings but I haven’t’ flipped each memory. Pam reminded me I don’t necessarily have to in order to let it go. I remember my Quantum Shift in April 2011 when that happened. I imagined the worst-case scenario and felt the raw fear and hopelessness. With all the memories and issues piled up I would have to lay in my bed all night tapping and things would still be there in the morning. When she used my words, “They are oblivious to who I am,” the practitioner in my head knew to flip it around. I said, “I am oblivious to who I am.” In that moment I realized, I am not all that stuff that I think I have to tap away. I am a dynamic spiritual being who is having this human experience. I am not those memories and when I think I am, then I am oblivious to who I really am. It all shifted in an instant and Pam didn’t even know what I did inside to create that shift. I wish I could package it and give it to the world.
We tapped through most of the session whether we talked or not. I don’t know where she got them, but when she used the words “Whatever forever,” it triggered my memory of the dream in 1997 Lady Whatever Forever. It was perfect timing, because it reminds me even when I feel alone, I am never alone.
Pam pushed me past some of my beliefs saying, “What if I could tap this away today and it goes away forever?” It’s the same principle I teach my clients. Suspend a belief temporarily and consider What if it is not true, it’s just a belief or story you were told or made up. If you make up a new story or belief what would your life be like?
Something I had subtly noticed I now see more clearly. I have a belief about my mind/body system that it will always produce symptoms to get my attention to help me heal. When I became disabled in 2005 I noticed my pattern and asked my physical therapist. She explained her belief, which reinforced my proof. Even if I release one symptom, another will show up if I don’t release the daily stress response.
Patterns and beliefs can change. What if I change and it never comes back another way? Pam said, “What if your Unconscious doesn’t need to get your attention?” I lived free of pain and fatigue for three years. What happened? I don’t need to know, why, where or when. Just go inside and notice the raw feeling of how I know. Don’t even describe or label it, just feel it, aim and tap.
Give up the need to know why or to understand. Stop analyzing, just notice how I know and let it go. I did a lot of that in the first three years. I still do a lot of tapping on raw sensations. Maybe others need this kind of instruction because they haven’t had to release a lot of physical symptoms. People who tap on emotional, mental or relationship problems have a different experience. They may not be familiar with tapping on raw sensations, so they need instruction. I know how to do that, but I may need a refresher course. It reminds me to use that approach more with certain clients who may not tap the way I did in the beginning.
Possible family patterns showed up, like the importance of stories and that they are chronologically correct. Also a belief that trauma gives life meaning. Wow! I laid those templates over my life and saw how they fit. The only blog post I made in 2013 was Point of Contact. If only I could have practiced it better that year, but I did the best I could with what I held in each challenging moment. Now I can let go of taking the traumas too seriously and not create a problem or identity from it.
Again, I am using the small view this morning without my glasses and not leaning in close to see better. YAY!
Pam also reminded me that doing the happy journal just for the doing is not the purpose. It only works if you step into and feel the state you describe. She uses audio recordings, which work better for her. It’s time to lighten up, play and have fun. Stop digging in the dirt. I’ve done the work. It’s time to party. That is Pam’s message. I want to say, “Yeah, but your mind/body system doesn’t produce symptoms like mine. If you had symptoms pop up you might do more digging too.” Again, that is just a belief that keeps me stuck in a pattern that can be released. What if I spend more time creating and practicing positive states? Let’s try that! — © Copyright B. Grace Jones 2014 All Rights Reserved.