Thoughts come faster than I can write them down. I have always noticed that true stream-of-consciousness writing is impossible. I notice a thought pops in while in the middle of writing a sentence but it may not hang around long enough to get onto the page. I can’t plunk it where it popped up. There has to be some continuity to the pages or it would be gibberish. I sometimes repeat myself because I’m not sure if a thought made it to the page the first time it arose. I keep moving as much as possible. If I stare at the page, I’ve either distracted myself, have big resistance or I’m editing my thoughts, which means I’m judging them and have stepped outside of the intention of the pages.
The important thought that missed the page yesterday is about Linda. In 1996 she introduced me to Morning Pages via The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Just another one of the myriad ways Linda influenced my life in positive ways.
I was restless when I first went to bed because of the public post I made acknowledging myself as the FasterEFT Founding Master Practitioner. I noticed the old pattern of “What will they think?” I remember the card I got that day from a fellow practitioner/client that was so kind and sweet, an affirming testimonial to me as a practitioner and a person. Although it was nice and I deeply appreciate it, I noticed that it didn’t hook me into any emotion. I noticed how I was automatically practicing the principle I learned from Wayne Dyer. Be independent of the opinion of others, good or bad, because their opinion can change. It was easy for me to get to sleep once I noticed the thoughts and how they triggered emotions. I mentally tapped to let it go and then affirmed my intention to be independent of the opinion of others.
I acknowledged myself based on what I know to be true. There is nothing about what I posted that I regret. It is an old pattern we have been taught by our parents, teachers or society to be humble, don’t be too proud or egotistical. But true humility is to know who and what you are and acknowledge that honestly. My clients often give me credit for the wonderful positive states and feelings they produce during the flip and future pace at the end of the session. They think I did it. They want to give me the credit. I tell them, “No, I’m not inside your head, you created it. All I do is take really good notes and feed back to you the words and feelings you said you want. I’m just your guide; you are the creator. Yes I have excellent skills for helping you create it, but you can learn to do it without me if you practice.” That is humility. Take credit for my part and give them credit for their part. I’m not here to create their dependence on me, I’m here to teach them how do be independent, self-healing and responsible for themselves.
The tile layers are here. I let them in during the last paragraph without letting it derail my thoughts. No that’s not stream of consciousness, but I have relaxed the rigid rules of Julia Cameron’s guidelines. I’ve moved on to what works for me and created my own personal version of Morning Pages. — © B. Grace Jones 2014 All Rights Reserved.