It’s Groundhog Day and I’ve been doing the same things over and over. When will I get it right? If only it were that easy. I am bored with feeling flat an uninspired. Even if I do more of it, I’m okay with it, and I will eventually cycle out of it. The process is something I need to go through for some purpose, even though I may not understand it now. This too shall pass, just like my three years disabled finally passed. That was the sick version of Groundhog Day and I’m sure this won’t take long.
My friends came in for potluck last night. I was open about where I am, even admitted to being on an edge of depression. Someone asked me what makes me happy, and I honestly couldn’t find it. I finally said my new kitchen floor, but that’s only temporary. I am glad it’s done, I enjoy it, but it doesn’t change me, it changes things.
The Piazzola concert music and performers were wonderful. It’s so great that Emporia attracts such fine talent. It was nice to get hugs from friends at the concert, and I remembered how Tom Shadyac thinks people don’t hug in public. After the concert I told my friends what makes me happy is doing fun things like this with them.
Last Sunday I was outside in shirtsleeves and enjoyed the 60° sunshine. This morning I’m sitting next to a roaring fire and it’s 15° outside. The weather is having mood swings. My moods haven’t been swinging; it’s monotonous and repetitive like Groundhog Day. I need to practice what I teach, but that sounds like a “should” on myself, so I just accept myself and whatever is here now is for an ultimate higher purpose.
Now I’m even bored with writing. I am just really good at producing a flat, bored feeling no matter what I do. At least I got my blog piece posted about the set-up for the Emotional Eclipse, but I didn’t call it that. I left it with the title I gave it before the eclipse, Gift of Love and Passion.
I may get dressed and work on my taxes. That’s really what I need to do most, get it done, so I can move onto other things. Get back to work on the book, seriously. I keep writing about working on it, but it’s been a while since I did. I have a couple more blog posts to make, which is a bit of a distraction from the book, but it is also an important process for me to get familiar and comfortable with putting my thoughts and feelings out to the public. — © Copyright B. Grace Jones 2014 All Rights Reserved.