Death In My Face
Sunday after Mom and I return from her younger sister’s memorial service, I open the suitcase of their dad’s letters. Postmark dates on top are the years each of my Grandparents died. Briefly I notice death is still in my face.
Tuesday following, in the midst of a full day of clients and errands, I learn my friend is diagnosed with cancer. After Linda died I had fear about friends with secrets dying, but I released it with FasterEFT. This friend is not keeping it a secret and appears to be doing deep work to heal.
On my walk I feel unusually thirsty, my legs feel hot and my knees ache. My thoughts are about my friend. I am not emotionally triggered, but suspect the news will trigger other mutual friends who may need help. I am curious how it will evolve. I wish I had learned the news directly, but practice releasing judgment since I have incomplete information.
I feel okay during the walk and finish without problems. As I head up the stairs I suddenly feel very shaky. It has been ten years since I’ve felt this way when I had symptoms like hypoglycemia. I tap on the go, but the automatic response to eat now is operating. I snack, cook, tap and rest while dinner is in the oven. I eat two helpings, rest and tap before the evening client session. I do well, but I’m very tired afterward and go to bed early.
The next afternoon I feel tired but push to work 1.5 hours outside weeding. I stand up and feel old with tense leg muscles yet they feel like limp spaghetti. I push through weak shaky feelings. At my computer I push to work when I don’t feel well. My practitioner shows up on Skype to ask if our session time can be shifted earlier, so Mom and I have a quick supper.
My evening session is good with help through big stuff that has built up. We deal with my physical symptoms and current issues around death. I mention the memory of opening Granddad’s suitcase but we don’t stop to check. We release a lot of emotions, physical symptoms and by the end of the session the Spaghetti Legs are gone, I can dance a little jig but I am still tired.
I sleep well but by mid-morning feel too weak and listless to continue. I ask myself for past references and recognize the hint from Granddad’s suitcase. At age 14 while seeing him in the hospital I could barely walk and felt weak, shaky, hot and faint. I sit down and do a session with myself to release that past trauma. After flipping the memory with FasterEFT all my physical symptoms are gone and do not return.
Introduction to TRE
In Oklahoma City, we learn that one of the FasterEFT weekend seminar participants, Vance Simpson, is an instructor of Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). Dr. Eric Robins is already familiar with TRE and asks Robert Smith to invite Vance to practitioner training on Wednesday to take us through an exercise.
Vance teaches us about the body’s natural wisdom and response to trauma and stress by release through shakes and tremors. Examples include shivers when cold, shaking when fearful and a mother’s natural body tremors after childbirth. The concepts begin to shift my beliefs as a result of the shakes I tapped away the week before.
Vance directs us through 15 minutes of stretching exercises to build up muscle tension. He gives instruction for a TRE position and guides us through. It works well for me and my body eventually produces the tremors. I know there is potential for aching muscles afterwards, so I immediately tap for that and again a few times later. I have no post-TRE muscle aches, which is amazing for someone who has done little exercise like that and who healed from Fibromyalgia symptoms.
Fasting & FasterEFT
Wednesday night I wake up and my abdomen feels full and uncomfortable. I can’t sleep so I tap on symptoms and whatever comes up, including a dream that seems significant.
When I wake up I have Maple Mocha Espresso, but still feel full. I get the idea I need to fast today. (I have only fasted one other time when Linda taught me how to tap Robert Smith’s style in 2008.) I drink plenty of water and I’m prepared to stop the fast at any point my body suggests. I go to lunch and have lemon water while I watch everyone eat. I have no shakes, no weakness and no desire to eat.
During class I tap on emotional triggers from the video demo, my dreams and past references. I heal some big stuff in the privacy of my mind. I share in confidence with the group about things I previously kept secret and I fully participate in class.
Instead of dinner, Eric and I go for a walk of 1.5 miles. Before the evening tapping practice I begin to feel lank and know I need a few calories to get me through, so I drink half a green smoothie. I have tea before bed to finish a 24-hour fast. I sleep better, have another interesting dream, and only Maple Mocha Espresso and fruit for breakfast. I return to normal eating at lunch. I finish the seminar feeling strong and vibrant.
FasterEFT, Bodywork and TRE
Dave Ryder and I agree to do an experimental session on Saturday morning combining his Medical Massage skills with FasterEFT. We agree to audio record the session. Dave also experienced the TRE on Wednesday and says he and some others have sore muscles afterward, but did not tap.
The intention of the body-mind session is to release as much as possible with FasterEFT before the bodywork. I hope to eliminate trauma and pain that may result. We use The Secret Language of Your Body by Inna Segal to first tap on the emotions and/or references. It seems to allow mobility with less discomfort during and after the bodywork. It is a powerful healing session and we both learn a lot.
Dave leaves the room and allows me to debrief in private on the audio recorder. The TRE tremors return spontaneously, maybe from the body-mind triggers around the cool temperature in the room, about 65°F.
The shifts in my experience and belief allow shakes to come and go naturally. In the past my automatic response would have been to resist or change the external environment. My new belief is supported as I observe, experience and allow my body to go in and out of tremors. My mind wants to think it is because the room is too cold, but before long the tremors cease and I notice the room does not seem cold. The room did not change. I changed by allowing my body’s natural wisdom to operate.