I cleared my calendar for another escape, diversion and distraction. I needed to pull me out of my isolation and loneliness so I planned a trip to Kansas City to connect with other practitioners and friends. Almost as soon as I committed to the trip I didn’t want to go. It was not resistance, it was the thought that popped in, I didn’t even think about how I could clear my calendar and spend that block of time writing my book. The book was still here quietly saying, “But what about me?” There’s the metaphor and I create my pattern with the book, too. Now the book feels left out, left behind and not included in my plans or life.
From incidental information I’ve gotten from others, each piece was another grain of sand to tip the scales. My session with Pam, moving my office upstairs and the quote Cheryl posted by A.M. Homes, “If you don’t write the book you have to write, everything breaks.” When Robin and I talked, his words were like my soul speaking to me directly and there was no denial, just pure recognition of the truth that will set me free.
I’m done dangling my toe in the water. It’s time to jump into the deep water and ride the waves of whatever comes up. Keep my spirit in present time, see the flip side, match the frequency and ride with it instead of resisting and fighting against it. The time is now to jump in fearlessly with my whole being, or tap through the fear. Lying in bed this morning I saw it arise, noticed it, allowed it like a wave I’m bobbing on top of and rode it without resistance. I allow it to roll on through and beyond, while I shift into the calm waters without fear or resistance of the next wave. I can do it. I have no more excuses. I don’t think I will do frequent blog posts, unless they are simple and quick. Just one now to say, “Got it, on to the book for now, see ya later, love ya lots.”
I learned in the last two months to practice frequent breaks of fun and laughter to pull myself out of negative trances in other ways than tapping. This is the piece that Linda missed. Her style of tapping was serious and I modeled that. It’s time to lighten up and laugh more at the trances this monkey still allows. Stop it! Shift it the instant I notice. My mind/body already knows everything unconsciously that I need in order to succeed. It’s a matter of being still and silent long enough to hear my own inner wisdom. I need to metaphorically sit at the blank page, with the cursor blinking and simply wait until the answer or inspiration comes. Stop pushing myself through it, just live in a state of allowing the flow to come and go. Be with and in the process, be the process. Allow the book and me to be integrated in the work and congruent with the healing process however it needs to happen. I healed from the years that created the disability, now it is time to heal from the trauma of disability, because I know how and I can. It is time to boldly go where no woman has gone before. Be the woman and go deep inside to do the work.
The Universe set me up in Divine Order. I’ve made the decision; I am committed to do whatever it takes. This is my Soul Light Purpose on this planet in this eternal present moment. The rewards will be beyond the upper limits of freedom, love and peace. — © Copyright B. Grace Jones 2014 All Rights Reserved.
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