Being Too Hard On Myself

On email I saw someone I don’t know posted to my FaceBook timeline. I went to see if it was a dragonfly photo or something I need to take down. OMG! A beautiful flower had a quote about beliefs that was taken directly from one of my blog posts. It gave credit to Denali Dragonfly and listed my website. I burst into tears and tapping. What a beautiful way to find out that people are reading my blog. That motivated me to make another blog post since I hadn’t in three days.

I broke the resistance to work on the book. Only 12 days earlier I spent all Monday on it. I didn’t go into the feelings deeply to aim and release enough and still had an emotional edge during my workweek. I took the following weekend off and had flooring installed all last workweek. I was too hard on myself before when I thought I hadn’t worked on the book since the New Year. The book is right on schedule without a schedule.

Time is all made up, just an automatic program that most people run. When I watch comedy, I check the clock. Will I watch another episode or not? Does it matter? I try to control my schedule so I won’t sleep late. It didn’t work today. After 9:00 I was drifting off again into dreamland when a faint noise got my attention to get up. Was it a sound in my head or did an angel do it? It worked. It was time to end the dream string of illusions and come back into the wakeful string of illusions.

I agreed with myself to work an hour on the book and stop if I want. On January 6, I read but didn’t transcribe anything. I went back into what started the emotional edge. It wasn’t as strong, but I slowed my pace to go there and tap. Once into the flow it was soon dark outside. I worked three hours transcribing and tapping.

It’s a good process, even if it doesn’t get into Tenacity Has Wings. It reminds me how hard I worked in 2001 to improve my life. I had so many health problems for so long and became frustrated with Western Medicine. That’s when I began to make some major lifestyle changes. I also began to observe and change my thought processes. I studied Wayne Dyer’s tape series The Secrets To Manifesting Your Destiny. I began Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life. I noticed how I push myself to go fast, try to do it all, then crash and resist going anywhere or doing anything. The push-crash cycle was well implanted and I had practiced it for years.

Another hard part is in 2001 my brother and I were really good friends. We spent time together and enjoyed each other. He was kind and generous seemingly without strings. It is sad that has changed, but if he wants a relationship now I need him to make the next move. — © B. Grace Jones 2014 All Rights Reserved.

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